"I Can't Thank RISE Enough": Paul's* Journey to Managing Anger and Rebuilding Family Relationships

Referred by the courts, Paul* learned to pause, listen and rebuild trust with his family. Read his honest story of change with RISE.

Paul* was referred to RISE after a "messy breakup."

"I got myself in a situation where I did something I'm not proud of," he says.

Facing an assault charge and another charge, he was sent to RISE by the court to work on his anger management and started one-on-one sessions with RISE Clinician Victor. He had joined a Men's Group before the referral, on his own volition.

"I got the ball rolling myself as I realised I obviously had some issues I had to deal with."

Before working with RISE, Paul didn't think of himself as an angry person; he thought what happened with his partner the night police were called was just a moment of madness.

But working with RISE and learning how the mind works, and about emotions, "brought up a lot of stuff," and he realised he did have an issue with anger.

He learnt how to think before responding, and "noticed a difference almost straight away."

One of the biggest tools he learnt was to stop and pause before reacting, rather than being quick to jump down people's throats.

"Now I'm better at stopping and actually listening to what they're saying. I just take a couple of deep breaths, close my eyes and give myself a few seconds."

He also learnt to see things from the other person's point of view, something he admits he didn't use to do.

"I didn't know about this stuff, about myself, until RISE pointed out some things."

He's also learnt how to destress; for example, by chucking on his headphones and going for a walk to take his mind off things.

He believes he now has a better relationship with his ex, someone who he says has been "really good" to deal with.

"I must give her some credit for that."

They still have difficult situations to navigate, as they have a child, but he can now talk things through instead of jumping to conclusions.

"I can't thank RISE enough, actually."

Paul* thought he didn’t have an anger issue. But working with RISE he realised he did. He says he is now, less reactive and tries to see things from others’ perspectives. Photo: Pexels Gabriela Palai.

His ex has told him he's been handling things better with her, he says.

"Just not being so defensive about everything and accepting things. I try and see it more from her point of view, and I'm open to her suggestions. I'm open to listening to her, and she's open to listening to me too."

Working with RISE has also meant he has a better relationship with, and access to, his child.

"I definitely have felt that working with RISE has helped. I have a lot more patience and understanding with my child now."

Paul says he would 100% recommend RISE to anyone struggling with their emotions and relationships — not just those going through the court system.

"Like I said, I can't speak highly enough of RISE. I just wish I had known there was this sort of support available a long time ago, because perhaps I wouldn't be where I am now."

He still attends the Men's Group and finds it really helpful having a safe place to discuss personal things more deeply.

*Not his real name.